


Never Promise

by missema



Series: Big Damn Heroes [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-29
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-11-06 06:26:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Thixophobic Draw, Mia Shepard and Zaeed Massani reunite in ME3, just as everything goes to hell.  A short, fluffy piece that closes out their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

At her message terminal, Shepard snorted aloud while reading, drawing a concerned look from Specialist Traynor as she scanned the email once again.  They were almost at the Citadel, determined to follow up on this bit of information right away before time ran out.  Din Korlack - Mia Shepard remembered the prickly volus ambassador from her first visit to the Citadel, when he'd been sharing an office with the elcor.  He'd always been a bit squirrelly, ready to betray whomever just to get ahead, to get the volus ahead.  It made her shake her head, but it wasn't as if humans had anything better, with Udina and Cerberus making a mess of the whole station.  War was making making regular people desperate and the stupid even more reckless than usual.  After she'd gotten the email from Primarch Victus, laying out his suspicions about the ambassador, she'd dutifully charted a course back to the Widow system, so she could go to the Spectre office to see what he'd forwarded there.

It was just what she didn't need, the makings of another interspecies war.  The Vol Protectorate would lose the support of the rest of the galaxy, starting with the turians if it turned out that Korlack was supplying Cerberus with information.  They were already suspicious, and if the Primarch was hearing rumors of a bounty on Korlack, they were definitely true.  Rumors didn't make it that far up the food chain without either being the truth or true enough.

From what Javik has told her, the Reapers let the war go on for as long as they need to subdue people.  The prospect scares the living shit out of her, just thinking that this war had just begun, and could go on for years longer.  Mia's already feeling the effects of it and wonders how  the Protheans did it, how they managed to go on for so many years when just the last few months has her stressed out and tired.  Sometimes one of her well-meaning friends would tell her to rest or take some time off, but it never seemed to help.  There were too many missing pieces and not enough time.  Ever since she'd left Earth, it had been constant running and ducking, dancing the to the tune of politicians that started out reluctant and ended up begging her help.  It was her that the galaxy was looking at now, hoping and praying she had some kind of way to stop the Reapers.  A few months ago, she'd been in jail and most people still believed she was making the so-called Reaper threat up as a ploy for attention.

And she was lonely.  There was that too.  No one mentioned it, but she hadn't heard from Zaeed since she'd turned herself in to the Alliance.  The few message she sent him went unanswered, and she had no idea where he'd gone.  The only thing he'd said was "I've got some business to take care of in a couple of other places."  At least he hadn't been on Earth for the Reaper attack, or at least, she didn't think he'd been on Earth.  Hard to tell when you hadn't heard from someone in months.

Kelly Chambers had tried to ask about him, subtly, during one of her visits to the refugee docking bay, but Mia had just shaken her head and rebuffed the question.  Mia didn't want to talk about it if she couldn't talk to Massani himself.  There was no point - talking to someone else would just end in speculation that she didn't really have time for.

So the last thing she expects when listening to Din Korlack's logs is to hear Zaeed's voice.  The gruff baritone pierces straight through her, knocking the wind out of her.

"Zaeed?"  In the empty room, her whisper is louder than she intended, imbued with months of pent up emotions.  It sounded like a scream in the silence, echoing around her.  Mia can't stop the creep of desire that gnaws at her as she searches the room for the tracking bug Korlack planted.

She tries to stay calm, for Korlack's sake as she walks steadily to the elevator that will take her to the Presidium.  Unbidden, her free hand clenches into a fist as she is rushed away from the embassies.  Zaeed is here, he's alive.  Her body isn't sure how to respond, she's equal parts relieved, frustrated and confused, mixed in with a little bit angry, but Mia decides to not think too much and let the situation play out.  If he's kidnapped Korlack for a bounty, she needs to reach him and quickly, before things get out of hand.

"Zaeed used to work for Cerberus.  Ask him why he's turned on them."  She instructed Korlack through the bug as she tried to will her body to move faster without attracting any more attention.

"How do you know my name all of a sudden?"  Zaeed asked after the ambassador posed him the question she'd instructed.  Damn it.  At least now he was listening.

"Drop my name."  Mia whispered as she scanned the hallways of the apartments in the Presidium.  God, one of them had to be it, she had to be close.

"Commander Shepard is investigating.  She's a recent acquaintance."  The volus puffed, talking directly to Zaeed now.

"How recent?"

"Very."

"Shit.  Alright, I'm listening."  Zaeed gave in just as she pressed the console on a door.  Fuuuuuck, wrong door.  Blowing out a frustrated exhalation, she ran back down the stairs in the opposite direction.  They had to be here, and she looked at each door, finally coming upon another place.  This had to be it.

Zaeed was leaning against a wall, standing amidst the bodies of the other mercs, and she was almost impressed as she looked at the krogan on the floor.  Though he was posed casually, his body was held tensely, hand on his gun.  She was sure that he'd had his doubts about Korlack's truthfulness.

"It really is you."  He growled, looking her up and down, his scarred face breaking into a smile.  "Howya doing, baby?  How was prison?"


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard kissed Zaeed with a ferocity that surprised even her, anger and passion mixing, pressing his back against the glass wall as his armor dug into her.  The pair was far too enthusiastic to be gentle, the extended kiss harsh, searching, their teeth clicking warningly as they came into contact, her hands raking through his hair, fingertips nearly bruising the exposed flesh on his arm as she squeezed.  Mia tried to extract herself, remembering that they weren't alone, but Zaeed pulled her back, a hand placed firmly on her ass, guiding her lower body against his as he bit her lip. Only the wild moan that he muffled with his lips seemed to rouse him, and he stopped kissing her for longer than it took take in air.  When she shook at his attempt to renew their kiss, he nodded, but kept his arm hooked around her waist, her hand still holding onto his arm after she'd taken a half step back.

Mia remembered why she was in the apartment a moment later and looking at Zaeed she asked, "Where's Korlack?"

"I'm here, Commander."  The unmistakable, muffled voice of a volus said and she glanced over towards the bed and to see the volus next to it, pointedly staring away from them. Despite his scorn at their display, the ambassador still sounded shaken from his abduction. 

Mia tried to wrest just what information Cerberus got from Korlack and what they planned to use, but the ambassador wanted a trade instead, the volus bombing fleet for his life.  For a dark moment, she considered it, because she couldn't read his face and didn't know if he was close to breaking.  It galled her that he had been saved, but was still bargaining with her, as if he truly only cared for his own life.  This was the representative for all the volus peoples?

When she'd finished bargaining with Korlack, finally applying enough guilt to get the volus to do the right thing, she felt Zaeed next to her again.  Mia gave a delighted shiver, letting the nearness of him excite her.  He'd always had this effect on her, right from the start on the Normandy, and she wasn't one to let people get close.  Even her friends respected the silent boundaries she put up, needing to keep her personal space to herself.  But Zaeed, he'd kissed and grumbled, breaking her down until she'd grown closer to him than anyone in a very long time.  She'd let him sleep in her bed, and they'd become lovers before they'd gone to fight the Collectors.

"C-Sec will be swarming all over here in minutes."  Zaeed said in her ear, rousing her.  "Let's get out while we can."  He didn't wait for an answer, instead hooking his arm around her waist and pushing her ahead of him.  She turned and smirked at him over her shoulder before they walked out of the apartment.

"Enjoying yourself?"  She drawled.

"It's been too goddamn long since I got to walk behind you.  Too bad you aren't blowing the head off some idiot in a Suns uniform, that would be almost better than before."

They left the ambassador to wait for Citadel Security, and Mia hurried down the steps and away from the corridor.  Those apartments never seemed to house anyone but were always available for shady deals and clandestine meetings.  She didn't like them - it reminded her too much of her life on Earth, running with gangs, hiding and meeting strange contacts in ever more far-flung places.  People always thought that gangs operated in burnt out buildings and on street corners, like some caricature.  That may be the picture of a common footsoldier, but the higher ups didn't get dirty, they used the guise of being well-to-do to avoid attention and met in places like these apartments.

When they got to the elevator, she looked over her shoulder again, afraid that he had slipped away from her.  It seemed almost too much to see him after so long apart, and she was nearly convinced that it was a mirage.  But Zaeed was there, next to her, waiting for the door to slide open, watching her out of the corner of his mismatched eyes.  He wouldn't talk out in the open, wouldn't say anything until they were alone.  More than anyone else she'd ever met, Zaeed distrusted appearances, and the Presidium, though not as pristine as it once was, would seem false to him, a pretension that played to rouse his suspicion.

When they entered the elevator, he pulled her close to him, his mouth clasped to hers before they'd even selected a destination.  If they were alone enough to kiss, then they could talk she decided, and she didn't have a very long conversation in mind.  Zaeed parted from her only momentarily, grumbling as he set the elevator in motion.

"Come back to the ship with me."  Mia breathed in his ear as the elevator sped them away from the Presidium.  She didn't know where they were going and didn't care, she'd redirect it to the Normandy's docking bay.

"I wish I could, baby, but can't right now.  I have some...business to take care of.  There's a ship headed out that I need to be on."

"What?  Zaeed, it's been months.  I didn't hear from you once, didn't know where you were.  What's going on?"

"Didn't expect to see you now, did I?  I was going to come and find you once I was done, figured you'd be making regular stops here.  Next time you dock, I'll be back here and we can get friendly then.  You can grouse about how the shitty bed you had in Alliance detention didn't have enough feathers."

Mia stood dumbstruck as he avoided her gaze, his attempt at a joke falling flat.  Months and months had passed between them and he wasn't even going to tell her what he was doing and had just declined a chance to go back to her cabin, to talk to her, to just be with her after she'd been imprisoned.  Frustration and anger throbbed erratically through her and Mia pulled away and leaned against the wall, her arms folded over her chest.

Without turning to look at her, he struck the panel on the wall with a fist, and the elevator stopped just short of their destination.  

"Go on and get it out."  He said, turning on her, a wary look painted across his features.  God, she found him so attractive even when he was glaring at her, waiting for her to start in on some tantrum.  Mia shook her head at him, refusing to speak.  She was mad, but didn't want a confrontation, because she'd get no answers and they'd both go away upset.  Instead she calmed herself, focusing on breathing as she looked at the floor.  Zaeed was still staring her at her when she looked back up at him.

Apparently, she wasn't going to get away without talking, so she tried to corral her restless thoughts, licked her lips and began.  "I've missed you."  Mia stepped closer to him, nearly touching as she looked through her lashes at him.  She didn't play the coquette very often, but with Zaeed, she knew it worked.  When they'd been on the Normandy, he'd always given in when she was sweet in private, as if he didn't expect it to disarm him so completely.

"Aww, hell.  I thought you were going to scream at me."  Zaeed said as Mia slid her arms up to encircle his neck.  She shook her head again at him and smiled, a small, wry smirk that showed her frustration.

"If you really want me to scream, you know how to make it happen."  She purred, her husky voice meant to lull him as she raked fingers through his bristly short hair.  

"Tempting, but I told you before, I got an appointment I need to keep."  Zaeed stepped back from her embrace and grabbed her wrists.  "I missed you too, more than I can goddamn say."  He chuckled as he brought one hand to his lips, placing a kiss against the heal, then another in the palm.  "Only you could have kept Korlack alive back there.  You did me a favor getting me out of that.  I'll be back for you."

"Will it make sense then?"  Mia sighed, resigned to the fact that she'd get no answers.

"Probably not, but I'll use small words."  He replied, letting go of her wrists so he could start the elevator again.  She laughed softly, the sound more mournful than she'd intended.

With one last kiss and a promise to return, he strode away out of the elevator to where a beat up freighter was docked, leaving Mia nothing to do but take the elevator back to Normandy's docking bay.


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard went to visit Kelly Chambers, down in the docks with the refugees.  It had become her custom to check in with her, especially since Cerberus still seemed to be looking for her former yeoman, but Mia had an ulterior motive for her visit.  She'd gotten a message after she'd gone back to the Normandy, still bitter about her encounter with Zaeed.  Brief and to the point, it said that was where she could find him, when he got back from whatever mysterious business he was doing.  They had run a short mission since then, and were docked at the Citadel again, so she thought she would try her luck and see if he was back already.  When she looked around for him, she saw no signs and instead went on with her visit to Kelly Chambers.

"Ah, Shepard, how are you?  Much happier, I bet, now that Zaeed has reappeared."

"Has he been here?  He said to meet him here, but I didn't see him."  Mia started, unaware that Zaeed had been the Citadel since she'd last seen him.

"I overheard a familiar storytelling voice over in the batarian part of the camp and checked it out.  Turns out it was him, so I went to say hello.  Didn't think he'd recognize the new me.  We chatted for a while, but he had business he had to attend to.  That was a while ago, and I haven't seen him since."

Shepard snorted.  "He used that line on you too, did he?"

"Things not going well between the two of you?"  Kelly said, softening her voice.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

Shepard shook her head but didn't elaborate, hoping that Kelly would drop the subject.  Instead Kelly cocked her head to the side as if she'd spotted something interesting and got quiet.  Mia got the feeling that she was being intensely scrutinized, and she unconsciously crossed her arms in front of her chest, as if that could halt the probing gaze Kelly was giving her.  There were times that Shepard forgot that Kelly was a psychologist, but this wasn't one of them.

"I don't think he's a person that ever expected to find happiness, not after all that's been in his past."  Kelly Chambers mused, looking at Mia intently.  "And chaos is nothing new to him, it's just how he lives his life, so this is just another fight.  He's survived the last twenty years by relying on brinkmanship and skill, but love, that might confuse him until he gets comfortable with it in his head."

"I never said anything about love."  Mia pointed out.

"You didn't have to."  Kelly replied.  "It was clear even on the Normandy that the two of you had something special, more than just a physical connection.  You waited for him, even when there were others that tried to get your attention.  When we were on the Normandy, he got you to open up, helped you through some of the trauma from being forced into a life two years in the future from all you knew."  Kelly smiled as she continued.  "He responded to your command, took up your cause for more than just the pay.  Only you reached him, and it's your stories he tells over there when he talks."

"Was it that obvious on the Normandy?"  Mia asked.  She'd always thought they'd been decently discreet.

"Not at first, but over time, closer to the end, it got clearer.  I suppose it's that way for a lot of people, the end making things clearer."  Kelly mused, her eyes going foggy as she got lost in the thought.

"He tells stories about me?"

"I know this girl, beautiful thing, legs up to here.  She's the biggest damn hero I ever met, hell with a rifle too."  Kelly imitated Zaeed, her voice growing rougher, her take on his accent nearly incomprehensible.

Mia laughed, at both the sight of Kelly mimicking Zaeed and at the fluttery feeling the words drew from her.  

Back on the Normandy, she couldn't help but think on Kelly's words.  Did Zaeed love her?  Was that something they even did?   She knew that she cared, and back on Earth, she'd worried, not wanting to lose the only person she trusted enough to let in.  There was the sex, God, it had been amazingly good between them.  Over time, he built up her trust and got her to let him in, and they worked together, in a way none of her other relationships ever had.  It was as if he understood and didn't try to analyze her or figure out an answer, just simply accepted her, flaws and all.  There was compassion and understanding there, not that she ever thought of it in those terms, but she liked that they never shied away from anything, good or bad between them.

Once they'd started something, neither one of them could back down, and she'd stolen kisses from him and had him in every inch of the cargo bay Diana Allers now inhabited.  Thane had caught them once, the elevator doors opening to reveal the drell as she and Zaeed had waited for it, pawing at each other.  Thane had been his usual polite, unflappable self as he wished them a goodnight, but the memory made her smile, getting caught had given their coupling a frenetic energy that night.

Whether or not she loved him, she missed Zaeed.  Saving the galaxy just didn't feel the same without him.  That he wouldn't tell her where he was going or what he was doing didn't sit well with her, not when there were Reapers invading everywhere.

"Uh, Commander?  You need to pick a destination on the galaxy map before I can go anywhere."  Joker's voice came over the comm, breaking her out of her reverie.  Mia was standing in her usual place, but she didn't realize she hadn't selected a place to go next.

"Right.  Sorry about that.  Setting a destination now."  Mia shook her head.  She had to go back to saving the galaxy and not worrying about Zaeed.  He'd survived plenty of years without her, and she was sure she'd see him again.  

At least, that's what she told herself.


	4. Chapter 4

She and the Normandy spanned the galaxy over at least once, doing her usual searches, trying to get trapped people and helpful objects out of Reaper controlled space. It was tedious and helpful to the war effort, but not entirely distracting for Mia. More than a small part of her wanted to use her ship to find Zaeed, to go after him, but that kind of thing had never really been their way. The affection between them was clear to others, but their relationship appeared almost lazy to the casual eye. Neither bothered to write, and when they met they fucked first and saved the talking for later, much later in some cases. 

The thing was, she wasn't really sure what their way was anymore. It had been sweet at first, fun for the most part, but about trust and caring. Then months passed without contact, as she stayed in her Alliance detention facility, and the reunion she'd been waiting for hadn't made things any clearer. In fact, she'd wondered if she was better off forgetting about it all and dedicating herself to the mission. That was what she would have done in the past, especially with something this big and awful looming over them. Nothing in her wanted to dismiss Zaeed that way, even as much as he exasperated her. She spent a lot of time on the bridge, conferring with Joker about where to go next, covertly keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity that looked like Zaeed.

At the outset, Joker wondered if their relationship could be anything positive. At the time, on the Cerberus Normandy, he voiced his opinion to Garrus and EDI, joking about Shepard and Zaeed getting into a shoot off in the Cargo Bay if things went bad. Shepard was strange - she didn't like to be touched or even have people stand too close to her, and Zaeed was battle-scarred and gritty, as apt to point a gun in someone's face as he was to tell a heartwarming story about a bounty he'd collected. And by heartwarming, Joker meant thoroughly gruesome and terrifying. It couldn't be anything but a volatile misstep for the Commander, sleeping with the old merc, but it wasn't his place to point it out to her. Besides, for whatever reason, he seemed to make her happy, or at least more normal, and Joker appreciated that.

This time, he spoke to Liara about it, hoping that her more analytical mind could see something he'd missed. The asari didn't actually know Zaeed though, and wasn't much help. She did promise to speak to Shepard about him, offering up any information that might make the Commander stop searching every corner of the galaxy for her bounty hunter boyfriend.

The next time Shepard paid a visit to the Shadow Broker, Liara carefully asked about Zaeed, drawing her introverted friend out. She knew Shepard wouldn't talk if she wasn't comfortable, so she was delicate in her questions, trying not to make her friend run away to hole up in her quarters. Garrus had tried to tempt her out of her reclusive funk by organizing a shooting match in the cargo bay, to no avail.

"Is it that you don't like that he's not part of the crew, or something else?" Liara asked as a console beeped somewhere off in the depths of her room. Another Prothean translation had probably finished by the sound of it. Glyph would handle it, sending the information off to Admiral Hackett. She had more important things to worry about, as she gazed over at the dejected Mia.

There was a long pause before Mia answered, thinking of what she wanted to say. "It's just difficult to know he's out there and wonder what he's doing. Why he didn't want to join the team." Mia explained. She tried to make it sound like her concern was more professional than personal, but she didn't actually think she was fooling Liara.

"Zaeed Massani. I have some information on him, if you'd like to see it." Liara was hoping the offering was enough, at least for now.

"Of course you do, you have information on just about everyone." Mia said, turning around to look at the screen where Liara was pointing. Excitement had edged into her tone, but she kept her face composed as Liara explained.

"I meant recent information, Shepard. Purchases, rations, alcohol and ammo. It looks like he's not planning on dying."

Shepard moved in front of Liara's terminal, looking at the list. It brought a smile to her face when she read the part about him buying a case from the discontinued avenger series of rifles. Jessie. She hoped he'd gotten around to fixing her. It seemed appropriate that he have his old weapon for a fight like they were gearing up for.

"Thanks, Liara. This is actually oddly comforting."

Liara smiled. "I try to help. Remember he's survived much worse, Shepard. He'll come back to you when he's done."

"I hope so." Mia didn't tend to worry about people she knew could take care of themselves, but this war had caused her to lose hours of rest worrying about the friends she'd made, the people that had once been under her command. They were her friends, her backup, and family. She worried for Jacob and Miranda on the run from Cerberus, for Tali and Legion out in the far reaches of space, and especially for Zaeed - God only knows where he got off to. It made her restless and irritated, at a time when she could afford to be neither.

Those words were all the comfort her friends could offer, and really more than she'd expected. Whatever this relationship was, the Reapers were putting too much pressure on it. She just wanted him to be safe, and to see him again. That night, Mia put it to rest in her head. She had a war to fight, and couldn't spend it all worrying.

The next time she docked at the Citadel, she checked for him when she went to visit Kelly Chambers. There was no sign of him at all, and no one in the camp had seen him recently. She stayed docked for two days, to the relief of her overworked crew. They were mostly busy, but there was some waiting involved on her part.

She made another trip back to the Citadel, after she'd circled the galaxy map one more time, hunting things down and outrunning the Reapers again. The noose was tightening on the galaxy as a whole, and Mia felt the anxiety, shared in it. But she was Commander Shepard to most people, and didn't let it show, kept up the act that no longer soothed her anymore. After she did the normal work, checking in with people, delivering goods, she headed down to the refugee dock. Vega was down there, talking to people and playing cards. She bumped into a busy Kelly, who was helping out the medical staff. Her last stop was the batarian enclave, where she braced herself for disappointment.

But he was there, standing as if he were waiting for her to come and find him in the batarian camp. She sauntered up to him, unsure of what to say after waiting for so long, but wanting to play it cool - no need to see too eager. Zaeed saw her coming, but didn't say anything, just waited. Mia stood in front of him, hands on her hips, and neither of them spoke.

For a moment they just stared at each other, not saying anything. Her brown eyes met his mismatched ones, the two of them sizing the other up. And then they were kissing, his arms locking around her, she pressed up against his armor.

"Invite me back to your cabin." Zaeed demanded, growling in her ear.

"What if I don't want to?" Her teasing earned her a swat on the behind from him, which turned into a squeeze.

"We have a lot to talk about." Zaeed said, in between kisses. "Can't do it here."

"Come back to the Normandy and wear me out, if you can."

His answer was little more than a grunt, acknowledging her challenge. She had no doubt he was going to do his best to make her regret those words. It was exactly what she had in mind. She didn't actually remember how they made it through the refugee camp and back to the Normandy's airlock, but they did somehow. Mia was willing to bet she'd never made it through the Citadel faster. When they got onto the ship, that's when they were spotted.

"Well, well Commander. It looks like you picked up something at the Citadel." Joker commented as soon as they boarded the ship.

"You still got that smartass pilot?" He asked, but didn't wait for an answer from her. "How's it going kid?"

Joker was probably going to reply with another joke, but he was cut off before he could. Apparently he and EDI had just come back on the ship themselves, or were just leaving it. Whichever it was, Mia didn't care much, she just wanted to be in the elevator heading towards her quarters. Her skin almost itched with the need for him to kiss it.

"Mr. Massani, it is good to see you again." When he didn't respond, EDI tried again. "Don't you recognize me?" EDI's voice asked from her 'mobile platform' and Shepard nearly groaned. She hadn't gotten a chance to explain the new robot body to Zaeed.

"Hells bells. EDI? You got a body." He let out a long, low whistle of appreciation. "Damn nice looking one at that. Wonder if they could make me a body like that."

"It is highly unlikely they could. This was a special unit." EDI began, but Shepard cut her off.

"I like the one you've got now. Besides, we don't want to hold EDI and Joker up from whatever important thing they were doing before they didn't see us." Mia said, making both Joker and Zaeed laugh.

"Never saw a thing, Commander. Let's go, EDI."

This time, Mia took Zaeed's hand and dragged him towards the elevator. Zaeed apparently understood, because he let himself be led without any comments, though he was smirking at her when they finally got to her quarters. No more distractions, no more stopping. They needed privacy, and to do more than talk. Harbinger could appear on her port side and she wouldn't care right now.


	5. Chapter 5

As excited as she was, Mia didn't want to rush. Adrenaline rushed through her, adding sparks to her excitement, but not dulling her senses. She wanted Zaeed, but despite her earlier enthusiasm, there was no desire to jump on him or start the party in the lift.

It was strange, because they'd been apart for so long, and when she'd finally found him with Din Korlack it was all she could do to keep from dragging him back to the Normandy. In the elevator, she'd kissed him, but backed off and enjoyed the simple feeling of her hand in his, the way always smelled - gun oil and musk - and how inexplicably happy it made her to be with him. 

Being happy during a war felt almost inappropriate, but for the space of time it took them to travel up to her cabin, Mia let herself be happy. Were it not for Zaeed, she might still be here, but not holding his hand and definitely without the safe and whole feeling that encircled her.

"I missed you." He said as the doors to her cabin slid open. His voice was dark and husky, almost rough as he spoke. "Don't think I left easy. Wanted to come back here and remind you of all the things we did before you left."

"I didn't think that." Mia said, shaking her head. She hadn't, but it was nice to hear it. "And I've got nowhere to be now. Give me something to jog my memory. Or give me better memories for when I don't have you here."

He pulled her to him in a kiss, hard with intensity, bruising her lips, but the work of their tongues was slow. They got reacquainted, she relaxing into his touch after their extended absence. It was his touch that made her trust him, those rough hands in hers, it had made it easier when life had been its hardest on her. After she'd been brought back, there was so much confusion and distrust, and she'd limped around raw and wounded all the time. Until they held hands down in the cargo bay, and he'd stood next to her, just letting her grow comfortable with his touch. She let that memory suffuse her even through her desire, let it bring back the memories of missing him after they'd parted. Mia took his face in her hands, savoring the kiss.

When they parted, his mismatched eyes were cloudy, face unreadable. "I can do that." Zaeed's growl was as much about arousal as it was a promise. She didn't smile at him, but rather gave him a look that said 'then get to it' and his answering hard stare accepted her challenge.

He made sure she wouldn't ever forget his touch.

There weren't words between them but music, lyrics of a song she'd half forgotten, scored by fireworks of heat and light crackling tiny explosions between their skin. His forehead touched hers, and for a moment they were joined in silent understanding before her hands broke the stillness with determination. His armor came off between kisses, and met her soft, hooded sweatshirt on the floor. She felt him chuckle when her lips pressed into that old Blue Suns tattoo, and heard it morph into a moan deep within his throat when the tip of her tongue traced around the edge of the inner circle.

Hands lifted her undershirt away from her skin, burrowing beneath her clothes as he pulled her closer. She began the process of removing his underclothes, but let his more practiced hands finish until he was wonderfully, finally, nude. Mia dropped a kiss on his other tattoo, the one that took up most of his arm, the one that would hold her later and lock her into place against his chest. Her hair was the same as it had been since they'd met, chin length and wavy, with a straight edge of fringe in the front. She liked to joke that it was the only part of her hair that stayed straight. It curled against her forehead like all the rest of it, anticipating the heat that would give way to sweat soon enough. Zaeed's big hand swept it back as he dragged fingers through her hair, but when it sprang back in place neither of them noticed.

It was almost like before, but altered with the honeyed haze of affection and separation. The hard, muscled wall of his chest was covered in soft skin, dotted with moles and freckles and hair, and it was all familiar to her. The months apart flitted away, because this part she remembered, the warmth and the exploration. This was what she'd missed.

This was where she didn't want to rush. Mia took her time, lips grazing the curve of his hips and lower. Before she dropped to her knees, she removed her own underwear, the usually comfortable cotton too much against her skin. It was the last piece of clothing between them, and she felt suddenly reckless as she tossed it away with the tips of her toes. 

Her knees met the pile of clothes on the floor and she stroked Zaeed's hardening cock with one hand. She wanted to taste, just taste - not bring him to completion - so she could remember. Starting with the soft head, she swept her tongue around him. 

Zaeed tilted his head back and moaned, and Mia could feel the shudder as it reverberated through his body. "It's been too long, babe." He grunted, and she took the statement to be more sentiment that warning.

She could have happily kept going, but his hands bade her stop when he didn't have the words. When she pulled away and stood up, Mia was lightheaded from her efforts. It didn't register on her face, because Zaeed took no notice and hauled her onto the bed, a mere half-step away.

Zaeed was of a similar mind when he put his head between her legs, given the moaning and greedy swipes of his tongue, he simply wanted to reacquaint himself with her. It was almost an indulgence to let him fill her with his tongue, to lick her slit from end to end in an effort to taste, to remember. Dispensing with sentiment, Zaeed applied himself with gusto to his favorite pastime in bed - seeing how long Shepard could hold out before he made her lose control. 

There were a few fluttering licks before he sucked hard on her clit, bringing darkness to the edges of her vision with the force of her pleasure, and then letting go just as abruptly. He didn't stop, just kept bringing her closer and closer and then pulling back. She'd forgotten, or had let time erase just how good he was at it - not just tongue and fingers, but his nose nudged and gave gentle blunt force to the process. Zaeed was breath and lips as he teased and tasted, and then, finally, there was tongue and finger the bass notes in a symphony of sensation. 

She never finished, but that wasn't what it was about really. He would have kept going until she was senseless and babbling, unable to form sound save for his name, but there were other delights to be had. At her behest, he crawled back up her body, catching a nipple once again and suckling hard just to make her gasp, then abandoning it.

Their kiss was naught but preamble, and Mia could feel him shifting between her legs, positioning himself right. When he met her hips, she shifted, taking him in with a long sigh of relief.

"Missed me?" He asked cheekily, biting her bottom lip instead of waiting for an answer.

"Why would anyone miss incredible sex?" Shepard managed to get the question out in a series of gasps, while she clawed at his chest and shoulders, trying to get the best of him. They were both competitive -even in this- keeping score to see who could get the better of the other first.

"Flattery will get you..." his words turned to vapor as she ground her hips against his, but she was merciful and gave him time to recover, "...anything you want." He finished in a whisper, kissing her smug smile. Mia suspected that the original ending of that sentence had been different, but she liked the alteration.

"I just want you. As much as I can get." Had the time apart made her uncharacteristically open, or was it their long delayed reunion? She didn't know and had no mind to explore it at the present.

"Whatever you like." Zaeed replied, slamming himself into her hard enough to elicit a squeal, to make her fingers grip hard enough on his shoulder that he would likely bruise. He would have smiled, but his face was furrowed with concentration. 

She tried to hold off, to stop the rushing she felt but his earlier attentions had brought her too close to make it anything but a short tumble towards an orgasm. The heat built within her on his every stroke, her own twists and turns against him causing delicious friction. It was like flames licking her feet at first, making her toes curl with the force of it. Release came like thunder, rippling through her body, rendering her mute until it thudded towards the end, relenting enough for her to feel Zaeed still moving slowly within her. 

This would normally be where one of them would make a wisecrack, something to lessen the intensity of what they'd shared, but she kissed his chin softly. His finger tilted her face up towards his so he could claim her lips in a tender echo of their earlier kisses. Neither of them spoke, but Zaeed kept up his slower pace, waiting until her body calmed. Their connection gave her the tenderness her own world lacked, compassion that might not have been realized without it. She wanted, and because she did, it fueled her fights with the same intensity that filled her eyes as she began to move faster beneath him.

Zaeed went on for a while longer, making it last before he too gave in to climax. Their easy pace grew faster by measures, rough intakes of breath marked the quickening of his pulse. Words came out in a garbled rush, he was saying things that were nearly sweet as if to make up for his extended absence. It was different than their usual dirtier talk - the cries to be fucked harder, to give more - but the change was not unwelcome. "I missed you, thought about breaking into the Alliance facility. Thought about you all the time." But his recitation was cut off by a groan and hands that tightened around her as he came.

Both of them were breathing hard as he rolled off of her, settling back against the large pillows on her bed. Without his warming bulk on top of her the air felt too cold against her skin, and she drew the dark blanket over them. She could sleep, but wouldn't yet, there was still much to say. She lay in the crook of his arm, thinking until she was ready to speak.

"So," Mia said softly, "are you ready to tell me where you went?" As she spoke, she sat up to face him, letting the blanket fall down to her waist. The glance he gave her was almost palpable, like hands running over her bare skin but he wasn't distracted from her question.

"I got a few people I know. Some of them owed me favors and it's the end of the world, so I had to collect." Zaeed explained. 

"How do you explain something without actually saying anything." Mia asked.

"It's a skill you acquire after the people closest to you put a bullet in your goddamn skull. Now do you want me to explain or not?"

"I'm all ears." Mia said, sitting up to look at him.

"No, you're not, and that's what I like about you." He said, voice turning low and raspy as he snaked an arm around her. Zaeed dragged her forward until she was laying with her chin resting on his chest, her head rising and falling with his exhalations. "I don't want to die fighting the Reapers." He started, his words quieter. She would never call him gentle, because he wasn't, not really, his life had hardened any trace of gentle that might have been beneath his exterior, but he seemed thoughtful as he spoke, almost confessional.

"Had my ear to the ground for any suspicious Cerberus activity. Figured the Illusive Man's finally gone around the bend and taken those bastards with him. Got together with an old friend and his crew. Blew up a base of theirs, after we looted it. Figured we were doing your war some good."

"Why didn't you ask me for help?"

"Didn't need help. Can't a man impress a woman by blowing up an enemy base anymore? Thought it might put you in the mood again."

"Oh, that it does. You and explosions always gets me going. But it's more just having you here again." She wanted to be more eloquent, to say it better, but she lacked the grace to convey the true depth of her words. Still, she hoped that Zaeed would understand her somehow. He was the only one who did.

"You always did have a way with words, Shepard." Zaeed pulled her into a kiss as he spoke her name, letting it trail off as their lips met. 

She knew that he would have to leave again, and her ship would be needed elsewhere. Outside her cabin the anxiety would fill her again, doubts about the future and their chances slamming into her chest like a piledriver. But inside, Mia stayed safe with Zaeed for a short while, laughing and kissing, taking time off from the war.


	6. Chapter 6

The citadel became their refuge, as it had for so many people across the galaxy. Sometimes when she stopped in, they talked of work, of the fighting, of the people they lost. But most of the time, she was simply glad he was there, standing where she could always find him. She checked in, talked strategy and weapons, listened to the rumors, and left with lips reddened from kissing. Every once in a while, they held hands and talked in low voices before she left and went back to the Normandy, never without asking him to come with her. He refused. His place wasn't there any longer, and he worked better from the Citadel. But she always asked.

After Thessia, she didn't have to go down and get him. He came to her cabin and they undressed in an effort to keep her from thinking about it. When tears slid from under her closed eyes afterward, he didn't say anything. He just held on. His touch kept her sane while the storms raged. There was little else to anchor her.

There were nights when she wished for him, when he wasn't there. Tension crept inbetween her shoulders, making them hunch up around her ears. Interviews, even with Diana Allers, made Mia feel raw and exposed. Planets she couldn't save. Colonies corrupted by Cerberus. The few images from Earth that made it off-world. Those were the times she felt his arms around her, the imprint of the only other person that she let touch her skin. She could feel him keenly, as if every touch overlapped in memory and built into a comforting shell. 

He was with her again, the night before she set off on the journey to find the Illusive Man. His anger almost rivaled hers as she told him in clipped tones about Sanctuary. About what they'd been doing - why the Cerberus troops fought like they did. Zaeed's bitter tirade of colorful curses brought out her first smile in what seemed like an eternity, and once bidden it stayed until he left. There was a war to finish.

When it came to Earth - that final fight - Mia knew he was already there before she'd even hit the ground. She'd never asked when he'd last visited the planet, and hadn't really delved too much into his background or the friends he'd recruited. It didn't matter. The future had loomed heavy between them since they met, and she had just been grateful for all they had, whenever they could snatch time for themselves. There was only time for only a goodbye, an end for two people that had never really had that much time together, just time enough for love.

"Almost thought you weren't going to make it, Shepard." Zaeed's voice said to her as she looked at his image. She wished he were here, right now, with her.

"Zaeed, I..." She began, but then he held up a hand as she dropped her gaze to the floor. 

"Shepard, I'll be here when you get done saving the universe again." His voice was rougher than normal and she looked back up at him, wanting to see him, even if it was the last time. "I'm gonna walk out of this fight, and so are you. Then we're going to go someplace with a lot of alcohol and no goddamn interruptions."

Mia giggled, she couldn't help herself. "Promise?" The word was husky, laden with meaning and darkness and doubt she couldn't banish.

"I never promise, but I'd kill all of the Reapers myself to make it happen."

"I love you." She said, unable to hold the words in any longer. It felt like the end, and she needed to be honest.

"You have terrible taste in men, but for what it's worth - you're the only person I've ever truly loved. The only one. Now let's gut those bastards and kick them off our planet."

There was no better reason to fight in her mind.

When it was done, after all those months of screaming and pleading, the din and the haunting whispers of her sleep - there was only silence. She destroyed them, destroyed them all and left her people free to make their own destiny again and then heard nothing more until the sound of his voice pierced through her protective shell once more.

The first words she heard were: "You finally decided to wake up and help me finish off this bottle, Mia? I knew if I tempted you with alcohol long enough you'd come round." 

A hand sloshed a bottle of something brown in front of her bleary eyes, and she blinked to bring it into focus. Had she the voice, she would have laughed but her voice, as was all of the rest of her, was rusty with disuse. She settled for being smiled at by Zaeed as he pressed on the button for the nurse. It took an immense effort, but she held out her hand, palm up towards where he sat next to her on the bed. He took it, holding it between both of his hands, warming her with the familiarity of his skin touching hers.


End file.
